I should start this page with my sincere
apology for the late posting. This should have been out by Friday April 3rd. lest
I forget, it was my brother's birthday on the 2nd, so happy birthday bro!
Do I have a reason for the lateness, yes;
an excuse? No. One of my reasons was, my mind hesitating between two topics; this
one and another which has been decided to be on the blog in another fortnight. Blogging
is not a must I suppose.
Well, my dear country Nigeria concluded
its general elections some days back with the emergence of a former military
ruler- Gen. Muhammadu Buhari (Retd) as the next president. I do wish him long
life and wisdom to lead us well.
But before then, a lot of activities,
adoption of several campaign themes and slogans reverberated throughout the
political circles with one remaining constant and that was 'change'. I guess
the change slogan that started off in America with president Obama's campaign
in 2008 finally culminated into my homeland (Nigeria) in 2015. Change was sung everywhere,
pasted everywhere (you would think there was a 'Change Carnival' in Lagos if
you were a stranger in the land. One could almost touch change in a tangible
form.
This is also why I decided to blog on this
topic 'Let the real 'posh' babe, please stand up; please stand up. While I do
not hold any political office just yet, I do hope I can be the change agent to
ending the counterfeit lifestyle of the Generation X &Y in Naija (Nigeria)
all in the name of being "posh" or "tush"-as so many call
it. Tush-where ever that word came from still perplexes me, as the meaning in
the English dictionary bears no resemblance to being posh!
Now back to my topic, I remember relaxing
in my living room and this musical video came up on one of the TV channels. It
was about some Nigerian girl or ‘babe’ (it’s a common term to describe a
rightly fashioned accessorized young lady) with a very heavy British accent, who
was being taken round a mansion by this equally young fellow, impressing her
with his top-notch Italian leather sofa, marbled flooring and immaculate pool.
To cut the long story short, the girl stomped out in anger at the end of video
over some sort of disagreement on the parting gift after the visit. The guy
wanted to give her the Nigerian currency 'Naira but my so called babe refused,
claiming that she couldn't even recollect the last time she spent Naira in
Naija (Nigeria) as she has been spending hard currency especially dollars and pounds in
top outlets in Lagos. E no easy!
Anyway, at the end of the video when the
true identity of my 'babe' was revealed, she turned out to be a backwoods Warri
girl, whose spoken waffi/pidgin English (a mix of English language &
Nigerian language) will totally loose the average pidgin speaker. As I watched
the video, I reflected on the society I live in, in Lagos.
The average Lagos girlfriend now speaks to
you in a funny or twisted Englo/Americano (my term) accent, I call it so
because half of the time, there's such a sporadic change in accents during
communication that the listener is lost as to whether you're speaking with an
English or American born individual. As long as you can put on the overly
prized human hair, carry or wear the exorbitant designer bags or shoes, have
well and brightly manicured false nails most of the time, voila! You become
posh overnight.
Then I wonder where the real Miss/Ms Posh
suddenly vanished to? I hope I don't become a 'wonderer'. I say this, because
in relating to some of these 'babes' beneath all these veneer reveals an
emptiness in integrity (most owe endlessly on these hairs & designer bags),
in morals and most especially in manners! God help you if you make a mistake to
get close to any of my so called 'babes’ in an angry situation or into any of
those provoking situations where the true nature comes out in the twinkle of an
eye. I thought being posh was so beyond and above what you look like but more
about your manners, your decency, your grammar, your true identity, your
values, your etiquette both in private and public.
Whatever happened to Nigeria's generation
X&Y, no one knows!
During the recent Easter break, I was out
with a few friends to the AY Live comedy show at the prestigious Eko Hotel in
Victoria Island; there were bevy of attractive looking ladies I must confess,
as to whether they are posh or not, I'm afraid I do not know. Quite a number
were very well dressed, although I wondered if they were going for dinner dates
afterwards or perhaps the Grammy after party. I said I do not know because in
the course of the show, the camera man who turned out to be one mischievous
fellow captured men and women in their unguarded moments. Lagos na wa (how do I
interpret that now..? ok Lagos is what it is).So this camera man did a good job
in contributing to the hilarious mood of the entire event. He ensured his
camera scoped through the crowd capturing babes picking noses, chewed
gums like they were in brothels, or the ones who sat with legs carelessly wide
open and then there were those scandalously dressed that even the comedian
screamed from the stage" I cover myself with the blood of my wife"!
Or do I go on about the young couples who
have totally forgotten what it is for the new born babies to have the beautiful
names of their Yoruba or Igbo Culture. My Yoruba tribe is quite guilty of these
biases. As if it is a plague to have anything to do with your heritage or
mother tongue. When you ask your friends for their children's names then you are
told names such as Jason, Martins, Serena, Malta and so on. I personally fear
for my tribe as I pray our names do not become endangered species all for the
wrong perception of what being 'posh' really mean.
Fear grips me because if Lagos continues
this way, we might eventually become a society of wannabes with the real posh
ones becoming a minority.
So, please if you are a real ‘posh’
babe/lady or guy, please stand up, please stand up!
Save the 'posh' from extinction.
As you save the posh, like our page, post and share on your various social media platforms.
16 comments:
An excellent write-up that affects the entire fabric of society. It is really a burning national issue affecting us. It is only few individuals that are really truthful and sincere about their root, status, class, background and what have you. This is really a brilliant topical issue which every one should pay close attention. Kike, I doff my cap for you on this great piece. Bydemy.
Kike, what a fantastic and real article. It's so disturbing how we Nigerians seem to be getting so fake and unreal! Both the ones in diaspora and at home but I think the latter is worse. (I will speak about my Yoruba race as we are most guilty of this)How would you explain foreign names or the fact that the children cannot speak/ understand their mother tongue ( Yoruba).and the fact that the parents take so much pride and consider it a 'posh' thing to say that their children do not speak Yoruba and they live in Nigeria. A friend of mine brought her children(5 and 8 yrs old )to Nigeria the first time from England , these kids who are extremely fluent in Yoruba were filled with so much excitement at the anticipation of meeting other young children who they could speak to in Yoruba. But, that excitement soon turned to such disappointment and unbelief that they found not one single child that could speak Yoruba ! And you know what; it's not as if the English grammar is top notch!
Fake parents breed fake children. You not only find fellow women / men scoping you for what you wear and are worth but children as young as6yrs doing the same.
Indeed It is time we look inward and address this issue.
Well done Kike for doing this.
Brilliant write up, you really have what it takes to put the message out there!
Belle Of The Ball has said it all. When we now have our people bragging that their kids cannot speak the native tongue as that is synonymous with being an 'aje butter'!
People should get real joor!!
Dem go de pose Dem go de denge denge Dem go de waka kurukere
nice one oooo
i love nandos
@ Aunty moji,thanks for sticking to the pseudo name. Honestly,the whole fake lifestyle is so annoying and pathetic sometimes i weep at what the Nigerian society has become overnite or well maybe it was a gradual descent into the 'town of wannabes',maybe the blog post should have had that title!.
Kike u know this is d only country that I know ,where d ccitizens love to show off but all well and good its not limited to d babes alone d guys are worst off . u only to get t on a trip with me around d world and u will laugh more. I was in Austria a few weeks ago . I met an old friend from Ogbomosho with tribal marks. All throughout our discussion he was trying to show he as fully naturized a message I understand. I had to tell him oooboy make we yan Yoruba small now
Kikky,
We too fake for 9ja. Na correct ting wey u yarn my sista. The only ting I no agree with na the name Serena wey u put for ur list of names. Una know say I be Serena Williams broda. Abeg make una change Serena name and put anode name like Maria or Sharapova.
D ting we u yarn about CHANGE na true. Even our dear Mama Peace say make una no trust persin wey de always talk Shange.
The root cause of this vice , if I'm allowed to named it, is embeded in the ego of a people that has sacrificed character on the altar of perception. Many thanks my lovely sister for a great piece at such a time like this. Let's all retraced our steps.
All i can say i sto lose the hair an accent that shifts from Americno to cockney to local naija.
Ebony Life TV,pls take note.
Nice one! Nothings beats simplicity especially when it is wrapped in the no-frills package of authenticity. All these cravings to be something we are not, could be evidence of an inferiority complex?
"Chineke, see sneck" Heard from a wannabe posh babe jolted at the sight of a reptile. I have no problem with putting on airs or faking accents if it's all in an attempt to step up and avoid being looked down upon as "bush". Our folks in UK and US do that a lot. Our local babes borrow that to score same advantage.
My worry is with the shunning of our local language in preference for English. I have a 24-year old and a 20-year old both of which are not able to speak Yoruba. This has nothing to do with my wanting to be posh. I have tried all I can to encourage them to learn and speak, but they just laugh it off and tell me the language will soon be extinct. Kike, please help. What can I do?
@ alatenumo,
My sincere apologies for using Serena,alas, i forgot it's one of your favourite names.But what can we do now with all these foreign names flying over our heads.Somebody help!
@Kola Emmanuel,
Well,i can understand your ability to overlook the fakeness in lifestyle of some of these babes.The harm is that,people don't know what it takes to be posh anymore and everyone is loosing their identity.Which is still the bane of of young adults you mentioned shying away from speaking the Yoruba language ,but i do not blame them,i blame their parents who have thought them to disdain their mother tongue!Please tel them other European countries,like Paris,Germany,span where there loads of rich and posh millionaires,first language remains their native one!Your nephew and niece i am sure do not want to be colonised all over again.In any case,Yoruba language will never become extinct!Even Chiamanada Adichie celebrates speaking Igbo!
Hey Kiks, this is really good. Well done.
@Belle of the Ball, you know the worst part was when we took them to Naija and they spoke Yoruba to the kids there, the kids in Naija were like "I din understanding Yoruba o". Now when my kids decided to speak English, wahala dey no be small. You see they speak very good Yoruba- you ask them
me: ki le ma je leni?
Kids: Se ogi wa ni Ile?
Me: e, owa
Kids: je ka je moi moi ati ogi then.
For those who don't speak Yoruba, it's me asking them what they'll have for dinner, and they responding with moi moi and ogi, if we have it at home. Thus is not in Naija, it's right here in England!
So back to my story, where wahala dey. They speak excellent Yoruba that shock us sometimes, but when they speak English, you'll never believe that another language will come out of their mouths. The one we call 'heavy British accent '! Lol. So when they spoke English back to the kids, the Naija kids were like ' I din understand you o'!!!��
Yoruba-mba
English- shishi.
So I said speak to them the way you would speak to me, and guess what my kids came up with their NaijaEnglish accent- every man rest. Lol.
@ my last anonymous,why didnt you leave a name now.i really enjoyed your story.Well,the kids follow ater the fakest parents!end of story.
You will be suprised at th einability of those who go to some expensive schools to express themselves fluently in the eNGLISH LANGUAGE,Yoruba no way;just raising children who are stuck in the middle of confusion.Please let me publish and let prove that i am not a robot jare.
Dear Kike,
I suspect the word 'Tush' derives from the Jamaican word 'Stush'. The word stush is negative and is labelled at those who think / are accused of being posh, hot or too nice. Put another way (a vulgar way) it means a person who thinks their s**t don't stink!
A UK-born Nigerian friend of mine who recently visited Nigeria observed how, despite, the poverty many Nigerians had to be seen with the latest sunglasses (albeit often fakes). That is true of the 'posh'ones you mention and possibly true of black culture per se: we have been told for so long that we are nothing other than slaves. Hence, we often feel a need to 'act out' in our material possessions.
Alas, this 'acting out' is not just confined to Nigeria. It is the same in Jamaica, Brazil and dare I say anywhere with a black population. Take a listen to hip-hop today...the so-called role models encourage this 'acting out or acting beyond our means'!
My Jamaican grandfather told me how his grandfather used to encourage him to be a "proud Igbo" and I will encourage my children and friends to be proud Africans. The people you write of are not fake...they are misinformed and uneducated. Let us play our part in reeducating our brothers and sisters.
Well done and continue blogging on interesting topics.
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